


Cerulean Sepia

by RoarkChronicles



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: And dont get them again until you touch your soulmate, Angry Yuri, Angry!Viktor, Big sister best friend Mari, Bored Viktor, Chin-up Yuuri, Chris is picking the music, Colours, Deal With It, Good morning Yuuri, Hungover Yuuri, I spell things with U's, M/M, Pity-party, Some more angsty, Soulmate AU, That's my biggest question, Tiny Angst, Where the hell was Celestino during the banquet?!, You lose colours at 5, Yuuri misses Vicchan, black and white, colour soulmate au, drunk yuuri, hurt Viktor, i may have forgotten, just a little bit, okay, they meet again, we should all know by now that the first episode was a bit angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-20 19:44:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9510101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoarkChronicles/pseuds/RoarkChronicles
Summary: As the five-time gold medalist, Viktor usually finds these banquets.... drab.Boy, did he get proven wrong.////“I’ll need these back…”Yuuri grabbed his pants from Viktor’s trembling hands and for the briefest of moments, their fingers touched and Viktor gasped.////





	1. Banquet Colours

**Author's Note:**

> /song lyrics/  
> I don't own Yuri!! on ice or any of the songs named.

_A glittering shimmer._

_A passing note._

Viktor almost didn’t catch it at first.

 

Banquets were boring. Dull. Stiff. Mandatory fun. As gold medal winner of last five Grand Prix, it was tiresome how monotonous these gatherings were.

 

_Congratulations!_

_Good job, Victor!_

_You’re amazing!_

_I can’t wait to see what you’ll have for us next year!_

_Congrats!_

_Congrats!_

_Congrats!_

 

To Viktor, it was almost as if he were stuck repeating it over and over. He could finish their sentences. He usually heard the same resentful praises from his competitors. Fans and journalists were always the same. Always so simple and child-like in their bewilderment towards him.

He overheard one of the journalists say that it must be so lonely at the top.

Not that Viktor sang himself praises, but it was. The solitude got unbearable. He sighed as he glanced down to his light-haired companion. He was too busy glaring the competition down, having won the Junior Grand Prix for the second time in a row.

That was when he spotted the Japanese skater, who landed himself sixth, make a bee-line for them. Viktor watched the drunk man with an air of curiosity. His smile bright as he approached Yuri.

If he wasn’t mistaken, they were both named Yuri, it was only the Japanese skater had a long 'U' sound in his name. A soft chuckle fell from Viktor’s lips as he noted the amusement of there being two Yuri’s next year.

He almost missed what the Japanese Yuuri had to say.

 

A dance… off?

 

Yura seemed to know what he was talking about as he accepted in broken, but angry English. Bemusement stuck Viktor as Yura dragged him along, stalking towards the dance floor with Japanese Yuuri.

 

Viktor must have completely failed to grasp that he was also a part of this ‘dance off’.

More upbeat music began to play with the help of Christophe, the skater from Switzerland. There was a sigh of relief as Yuri handed him his phone. Good. He was there to take video. Not compete. The music was somewhat familiar. Not exactly something from Viktor’s genre of music, but it had a good beat and good energy.

 

_/Let's go…/_

 

As he held up the phone, the two began their contest. Japanese Yuuri flowed into the music with such an ease. So natural.

 

_/Party rock is in the house tonight. Everybody just have a good time. And we gonna make you lose your mind. Everybody just have a good time…/_

 

Viktor still didn’t quite understand what was going on, but it made for fine entertainment. The bass boomed as the song flowed. The sheer anger on Yura’s face was priceless. Viktor had never quite seen the moves that the Japanese Skater was using. He caught a few words from the obnoxious Canadian skater on his left.

 

Break dance.

Hip-hop.

 

He assumed these were American things. Viktor didn’t follow many of his fellow competitors, but he did know the basics of their skating past. When he wasn’t on the ice or training, Viktor was researching.

Viktor was not expecting to find himself laughing at the two Yuri’s. Japanese Yuuri was without a doubt in the win here. Poor Yura didn’t stand a chance. Cheers and laughter filled the usually dull banquet hall. Roaring applause echoed through the hall as both stood there, out of breath. Yura’s face.

He knew when to concede his defeat. The boy stormed off towards the concessions with his usual anger. Only after grabbing his phone from Viktor.

Yuuri’s laughter filled the space. The call of his name from across the room caught everyone’s attention. It’s was Chris’s voice. That deep baritone that made the lady skaters swoon. Viktor heard a sharp gasp before the sound of a glass hitting the floor. He tried to glance and see who was beside him. He caught a bare glimpse of pale locks before his vision vanished.

He pulled the offending cloth from his face to find it was a dark coloured…

 

Pair…

 

Of _pants_ …

 

His heart drummed within his chest. He was hesitant as he brought his head up, staring in the direction of which the article of clothing had flown. The gasp that fell from his lips echoed Yuri's. The wait staff made a prompt cleanup of the glass Yuri dropped on the floor. The image in front of his eyes was like nothing he had seen before. Everything pretentious and grandiose thrown out of the window at the sight of a…

Viktor paused, tapping his finger on his chin.

What were they called?

Ah yes.

 

**Stripper pole.**

 

He couldn't fathom where Christophe found a stripper pole. Not to mention how he managed to convince the wait staff to let him set it up in the banquet hall.  A different style of music began poured over the speakers. It was a little more relaxed, Viktor would consider it jazzy.

 

Yet, there was not only a stripper pole in the banquet hall.

 

 _/I can't wait 'til I get you on the floor, good-looking, Going out so hot,_ _just_ _like an oven.../_

 

But a half naked, Japanese Yuuri on said pole.

 

Viktor’s eyes went wide as he realized that he was currently holding Yuuri’s discarded pants. A blush tinted his pale cheeks. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from the limber man on the pole.

_/...Hey baby, we don't mind all the watching, hi, 'Cause if they study close, real close, they might learn something.../_

He felt impressed with the fashion of this new 'dance' style.

A few minutes later, Yuuri relinquished possession of the pole with grace. Switching places with Christophe, who was already in his most comfortable attire. Clothed in only his underwear. Viktor rolled his eyes, not exactly surprised by the Swiss skater, this was his forte. Another suitable song came on, it had a pop-style beat to it.

_/...Haven't we met? Some kind of beautiful stranger, You could be good for me, I've had the taste for danger.../_

Viktor's attention shifted back to the duo when Yuuri, who had matched Chris's attire, rejoined him on the pole.

And who gave them champagne bottles?!

_/...If I'm smart then I'll run away, But I'm not so I guess I'll stay, Haven't you heard? I fell in love with a beautiful stranger.../_

It was almost too much. Viktor could feel himself getting warm from the pressure of his blush.

_/...Beautiful stranger...Beautiful stranger.../_

Another thunderous roar of applause rattled the banquet hall. Before it could register in Viktor’s mind, there was that Japanese skater in front of him. A wide, but drunken smile plastered across his face. He was re-dressed in his white button down shirt again.

“I’ll need these back…”

Yuuri grabbed his pants from Viktor’s trembling hands. For the briefest of moments, their fingers touched and Viktor gasped.

 

The room flooded with bright colours.

Everything began to take shade and hue.

His eyes adjusting to the saturation before everything faded to a dull glow.

 

He was still in a bewildered state as Yuuri led him out onto the dance floor. The colours were overwhelming his senses and he kept studying everything around him.

 

The last time he saw anything in colour was when he was five. But that was the age of which everyone lost their colour vision. And it did not return until they found them.

 

**Until they touched their soul mate.**

 

Viktor almost missed the start of the music, it was another jazzy song, a swing style. His expression still shocked. He began to follow Yuuri’s lead, mimicking his dance in an attempt to wrap his head around what is happening. He smiled and laughed at the two of them.

They were ridiculous. Viktor slipped his dress coat off as Yuuri put his hands up, miming a bull. As Yuuri “charged”, Viktor spun around and put his coat back on. The two of them returning to their dance of twists and two steps.

They smiled and bowed to each other. And before Viktor knew it, he found himself in the arms of the Japanese skater. They imitated dancing on the ice, Yuuri’s arm around Viktor’s waist as they leaned forward, rear leg extended.

Yuuri took his hand again and twirled him into a dip.

How long would he have waited? Would he have gone his entire life without this man? Everything was so bright, so beautiful. They smiled at each other. They danced with a sweetness that they both longed for. At least until the end of the song the could entrance in each other.

But once it ended the banquet hall erupted into another uncontrolled applause.

The silver-haired Russian found himself laughing with earnest. He couldn’t remember the last time he even felt anything like this. And the look on their Russian Yuri’s face as he came back over.

The blonde had grown accustomed to Viktor and his antics. But this side of Viktor was new and couldn’t avoid the hug he received.

“Yura… The world… the world is so beautiful…”

Viktor straightened himself. As he was adjusting his suit, he stumbled backward a step. The Japanese Yuuri in his arms again and somehow, pantless.

_“Viktor…”_

The Japanese Yuuri began. Without warning, his lower half was rocking with excitement against Victor in a lucid movement.

“After this season ends, my family runs a hot spring resort, so please come…”

He stared down through those silver locks. He couldn’t breathe. Those beautiful cognac coloured eyes stared up at him with a devout twinkle. He wanted nothing more than to give this handsome man attached to him the world.

“If I win this dance-off…”

Viktor smiled inward, It was clear that Yuuri didn’t realize he already won his dance-offs. All three of them.

“You’ll become my coach, right?”

Cognac-hued eyes sparkled at the thought of it. Where was this confident and charismatic fool at the podium? How did he not make it? The look of shock was still plastered over his pale face from the moment he looked into Yuuri’s eyes.

_“Be my coach, Viktor!”_

The Japanese skater clung to him, a little tighter than before, pulling him from his thoughts. His cerulean-hued eyes softened.


	2. Morning Colours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good morning Yuuri!  
> \-----------------  
> ///  
> Bathroom.  
> Correction.  
> Bathtub.
> 
> “When did I… oh god.”
> 
> He made a scramble out of the tub, grabbing for the toilet.  
> ///

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still don't own Yuri!! on Ice. <3 <3 <3

A loud groan echoed through the small empty hotel room.

“Uggghhhh.”

Tanned hands brushed through raven locks before a shiver ran his body. A subtle glance around brought familiarity, before he squeezed his eyes shut.

“H...how did I…”

He waved a hand in front of his face, inhaling deeply. His eyes eased open before wandering again.

 

Bathroom.

_Correction._

Bathtub.

 

“When did I… **oh god**.”

He made a scramble out of the tub, grabbing for the toilet. His stomach wretched and dry heaved into the porcelain bowl. He slipped onto the cool tile floor a moment later. A whine escaped his person.

“Why is everything spinning…”

His hand found its way to cover his eyes. Everything was doing a combination spin whilst he lay in agony of the stillness on the floor. And the brightness, why was everything so bright?! His other hand ran up the wall as he managed to pull himself to his feet. Nimble fingers found the light switch, flipping the offensive device off.

His fingers split enough so he could peek through them and into the primary area of the room. He thanked whatever gods were out there that those lights were off. A dimmed glow bordering the window, setting a time frame in his mind.

A thunderous pounding rattled his mind as he gripped at his ears. Only realizing that the sound was coming from the door and was not in his throbbing head.

 

**“Yuuri!”**

 

He immediately recognized the voice on the other side of the door. Yuuri took a moment to gather himself. With a significant amount of grievance, he approached the door. He replaced his hand back over his eyes, hesitant to open it.

The laugh that resounded through his ears was the most excruciatingly awful thing to happen to him. At least since he landed himself the sixth place in the Grand Prix. That laugh earned the man in the hallway a scolding grumble.

“You look like hell warmed over, Yuuri! It seems like you had one heck of an evening at the banquet! Sorry, I abandoned you there…”

The sentence trailed off as Yuuri brought his free hand to his own lips. Pointer finger extended as he pursed his lips, a soft ‘shhhhhhhhhhhhh’ escaping past.

“Is there anything I can do for you before we fly out?”

He asked in a softer tone. Yuuri tried to peek through his fingers but the lights... The lights were so bright.

“Can you ask the hotel to turn the lights down?”

That earned Yuuri another ear-splitting laugh as he cringed in his own error.

“Celestino… How much did I drink last night?”

Even though Yuuri couldn’t see him, Celestino replied with a shake of the head and shrug.

“No idea, I only saw two drinks before I had to step away. And by the time I got back to the banquet, it was already over, most of the skaters and etcetera had left. **Oh!** ”

Before Celestino knew what he had done, a crippling sound rang through the hall. Earth quaking Yuuri’s world with a single, shrill clap of the hands. The dark-brunet Asain had to steady himself from almost reeling backward away from the noise.

Celestino continued on, none the wiser.

“Give me about half an hour and I’ll be back with something that will fix you right up, okay?”

Still recovering from the splitting pain of what such a noise could do, Yuuri feigned a nod. Then held his free hand index finger up, signaling for the coach to hold off for a minute. He stumbled back into the darkness, unconcerned with the room door clicking shut.

His hand dropped from his eyes and it took him a moment to get used to the gray scale of the darkness. Yuuri made it over to the desk in a sluggish manner, where his id, room key, and other personal items were splayed over the wooden surface.

In a sudden movement, his head whipped to the side. He steadied himself for a brief moment on the desk but he refused to tear his eyes away.

 

**The clock.**

 

He rubbed his eyes in a vigorous fashion.

 

Yuuri stopped, keeping his hands on his eyes for a stressed minute.

 

 _Slowly._ **Steadily.**

 

He lowered his hands, though his eyes were still squeezed shut. He swallowed past the massive lump in his throat and peered through a slit eyelid.

 

 **The clock numbers** **were red.**

 

Everything seemed to freeze. His breath stopped. The only thing reminding the skater he was still there...

 

Aware.

Awake.

Alive.

 

...was the overwhelming hammering of his heart against his chest.

His gaze burned into the small machine, unable to tear himself away as the numbers changed from 1107 to 1108. Yuuri almost jumped out of his skin as a softer knock came to the door. It solidified his moment in time and he reached for the key card.

 

Yuuri was rapidly feeling sober.

 

He returned to the door, covering his eyes. Not because of the colours but because of the intense illumination. Yuuri passed the white card to the tanned man. With a smile, Celestino repeated that he would see him in about half an hour with the best hangover remedy.

Again, the door clicked into its home and even the darkness began to get blurry. Streaks of wetness paved trails down Yuuri’s cheeks. He allowed himself to be overcome with his emotions.

 

_One person._

**One person.**

Help. _Help._

 

He felt as if his brain had shifted into auto-pilot as he crawled across the room’s plush carpeting. At least he had the sense last night, before passing out in the bathtub, to plug his phone in. He grabbed the offending device from the nightstand table.

Yuuri reared back for a moment when the screen flashed awake, the glow and colours almost too much. His eyes took a moment to adjust from the darkness. A tanned finger swiped away at the lock screen, quickly opening his contacts before selecting one.

He was shaking as he lifted the receiver speaker to his ear.

A deep but feminine voice came over the other end.

“Hey, Yuuri-kun.”

 

“Oneesan…”

Yuuri’s voice was quiet, distraught.

“Yuuri-kun, is everything okay?”

Mari asked right away. He could hear the sound of a door closing on her end of the phone. The casual and familiar sound of a lighter sparking to life.

“ _...Colours._ ”

It was all he could manage to bite out before his emotions caught back up with him and the tears fell again.

“Oneesan… I can see colours again…”

The silence over the phone was eerie. The soft fizzing of her cigarette was the only noise heard through the speaker.

“Oh, Yuuri-kun!”

He could almost _feel_ her smile through the line.

“How exciting!”

 

“I don’t know who.”

Yuuri’s blood ran cold as he finally admitted his problem aloud, he hand to bit his lip to hold back a sob.

“ _...I have no idea who_.”

 

His throat felt tight.

He couldn’t breathe.

This would be his fate. He must be cursed.

 

He failed his friends and family. He failed himself.

And now.

 

The person who was to be his soulmate would slip through his fingers and because of what? A pity party? A regretful decision to get plastered? His body shook harder as he tried to listen to his older sister.

“Yuuri, Yuuri… hush now…. It’ll be okay. I’m sure that they will try to contact you…”

 

“What if they don’t know who I am? Some random chance encounter… **Oh god…** ”

He could feel his stomach churning again.

“What if, what if, what if. Yuuri-kun, honestly. You are one of the top skaters in  Japan, if not the world. They’ll know who you are.”

Yuuri was about to pour more of his doubts onto his sister when he heard some commotion on her end of the phone. It muffled by what he assumed was her hand.

“Yuuri-kun, I have to go, Okaasan needs me. Don’t worry. They’ll find you.”

A sound came over the receiver that signaled the call was ended. Yuuri managed to pull himself up onto the bed, laying flat on his stomach as he sobbed into the comforter. Exhaustion warped his mind now that he was out of the cramped space of the bathroom. Before he could fight it, he dozed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to split this day into two parts.


	3. Evening Colours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A pair of turquoise-hued eyes searched the area desperately. Madly. Hopelessly. He could hear the old man, yelling, always yelling. Viktor knew he had just seen the Japanese skater, here, in this area. He then spied the skater’s coach. His eyes beamed, but he was not only out of time, but luck. There was no sight of the raven-haired skater.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't own Yuri!! on Ice! <3
> 
> *thoughts*  
> :phone text:
> 
> Edit 07FEB2017: I redid the end of this chapter. It wasn't sitting well with me, friends and fellow A03er's we chatting with me about it and there was something that wasn't sitting still. There was a lot of confusion for me that has been cleared up with a couple of amazing comments(I truly am thankful, I love things that force me to think.) And I finally drew the executive decision to change the chapter ending. I hope you still enjoy the change.

_*… something smells good….something smells real good…*_

 

The raven-haired Asian pushed his arms out from under his head. Having used them as a makeshift pillow. His toes pointed out as he stretched the length of his body. Yuuri glanced around, overjoyed that the intense illumination had finally subdued. He could tolerate the fact that Celestino had opened the curtains.

Those chocolate-hued eyes continued to search the area. He then spied the greasy, brown paper bag of food awaiting him on the desk. Beside it sat a small pack of painkillers, a bottle of something pastel pink, a to-go cup of tea, and some sort of juice drink.

A gentle smile crossed his lips before he slid off the bed. Yuuri grabbed his phone from the floor where he left it, without intention to do so.

 

Surprised, he had a couple of texts.

 

The first two were from Celestino.

_: What flavour of juice do you like? :_

_: Nvm :_

Yuuri chuckled at his poor coach. He tapped the back button.

 

Phichit was next.

_: There is always next season! Keep your head up Yuu-chan! :_

An emotionless smile crossed his lips. He took in a breath before replying with a simple smiley face. The weight fell again on his shoulders of his last place crushing defeat in the Prix.

 

The last message was from Mari.

_: Fate will fix itself :_

Everything started going blurry again as the tears welled up, brimming his eyes.

 

Yuuri set his phone down and picked up the packet of painkillers. It was a strange powdered product. After reading the directions of use, he opened the lid of his tea. The aroma of peppermint filled the air as he removed the bags, tossing then into the waste bin under the table.

He downed the power then sipped the tea. He winced. It burned down his throat. Not exactly a decision that was well thought out.

His stomach growled in an angry manner. The paper bag of food was the next thing opened. Yuuri removed three wrapped items. He opened the first and laughed.

 

**Tacos.**

Leave it to Celestino to find tacos in Russia. Yuuri was enjoying his meal when his phone chimed a notification.

Celestino.

_: Yuuri, you have time but get packed and at the Expo Centre with your suitcase at 1800. There are some things we need to take care of before we fly  out. We'll be leaving for the airport straight from the Centre :_

 

_: Okay. And thanks for the things. :_

He replied back and set his phone back down. He didn't care to look at anything else, a choice he should have made last night. He should never have looked at the news after his loss.

Yuuri groaned in an audible displeasure before he sipped on his tea again.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri spent the afternoon showering, packing, and napping. His alarm startled him awake at 1700. The brunet skater sighed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Grabbing his phone, he shoved the charger into his suitcase. He gave the room a once over before his gaze fell to the window.

Yuuri found himself in front of the window pane before he knew what he was doing. He allowed his thoughts to wander as he touched the cool glass.

Someone out there was looking at the same breathtaking oranges, pinks, and purples of the Russian sunset with new eyes.

 

Just as he was. 

 

 

Yuuri pulled his phone from his pocket and opened up Instagram. He found it silly now how people could take these photos in a gray scale. Even with that thought, he snapped a selfie with the sunset as the background.

He wrote the caption as _: Who knows what the future holds :_ and posted it with a Geo-tag and a couple hashtags, #sochi #Russia #beautiful.

With a regretful sigh, he gathered his things and headed for the lobby to check out of the hotel.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri found himself an isolated spot in the Expo Centre, headphones in, as he waited for Celestino. He settled on people watching to pass the time. It was an entertaining activity, especially with everything in technicolour.

 

That was when a gentle hand on his shoulder about startled the soul out of him. As he plucked the headphones from his ears, he heard a deep laugh.

“Coach....”

Yuuri mumbled, hand over his heart as the Italian man patted his back.

“Sorry, Yuuri. Come on, let’s go.”

Celestino was still chuckling as Yuuri grabbed his suitcase. He followed in line behind his coach. The room that they entered  was crowded  with coaches, skaters, and journalist. Yuuri stood close to his coach as they approached one of the tables. Celestino made easy small talk with the lady sitting there. Yuuri's  gaze drifted around the room. Person to person. Until he caught the sight of the most stunning pair of eyes.

 

Turquoise.

_Aquamarine._

**Cerulean.**

 

Yuuri couldn’t quite decide what colour they were. But the hues reminded him of the warm ocean in the early summertime back in Hasetsu.

 

A smile crossed their lips. Then it dawned on him, as the smile did in a golden epiphany.

 

He was staring at Viktor Nikiforov.

Viktor Nikiforov was staring back at him . 

**And smiling.**

 

The raven-haired skater yanked himself from his thoughts. In a failed attempt to hide his embarrassment, he bumped into the table beside him. He could hear Celestino scolding him in the back of his mind, but his thoughts were elsewhere.

 

It wasn’t Viktor’s usual smile.

That one he flashes when he sees a fan or a news reporter.

There was something different about it.

 

“Yuuri!”

He knew that tone.

Celestino  was upset  now because he knew that Yuuri wasn’t listening. 

“Sumimasen...”

Yuuri said with a quiet voice and tried to focus. He tried to focus on where he needed to sign as his coach pointed it out to him.

When he turned back around, Yuuri released a sigh he hadn't realized he was holding. Glad to finally of completed the paperwork. He had an odd sense of disappointment when he found the Russians had left.

 

Disappointed wasn't right.

He felt... _melancholy_. 

 

Yuuri again fell in behind Celestino as they walked through the bustling Expo Centre.

“Um… Celestino, I’ll be a moment.”

The Italian glanced back to see Yuuri disappearing into the bathroom. He sighed and removed his phone from his pocket, making a quick phone call. He moved to a quieter area. But still, somewhere he could keep an eye on Yuuri’s suitcase, which the skater didn’t bring with him.

A pair of turquoise-hued eyes searched the area with a heavy desperation. Madly. Hopelessly. He could hear the old man in the distance. Yelling. Always yelling. Viktor knew he had just seen the Japanese skater, here, in this area. He then spied the skater’s coach. His eyes beamed, but he was not only out of time, but luck. There was no sight of the brunet skater.

As Viktor was about to turn away, defeated, he spotted what he recognized as Yuuri’s suitcase. Without a hesitation, he crossed the space and knelt down by the case. His pale fingers fumbled with one of the zips before he was able to slip a small, folded piece of paper into the pocket. His fingers lingered a little longer than he wanted, but Yakov was getting  truly  furious now. The silver-haired Russian broke into a soft jog back towards the others. 

Still drying his hands, Yuuri exited the bathroom. His attention couldn’t help but get drawn to the bright white and red jumpsuit. He watched it moving towards the other end of the Expo Centre. His breath caught. His mind still trying to keep up with the aggressive enhancement of color in his life again.

Yuuri bit his lip, a hand rested on the handle of his suitcase.

 

**Black and white.**

_Colour._

 

It didn’t matter either way. He was nothing compared to his idol. And it was foolish of him to think that he could meet him on the same playing field. Yuuri breathed in deep as Celestino returned to his side, ushering him towards the door.

He wiped his eyes as they hit the frigid Russian air.

“Everything okay, Yuuri?”

Celestino sounded concerned. The brunet Asian plastered the best smile he could on his face.

“Hai. The cold air made my eyes water is all.”

He turned the smiled and nodded, leading Yuuri to the taxi that he phoned. He felt heavy as he lifted the suitcase into the trunk. Opening the taxi door took him a moment because he couldn’t focus on the door handle. Yuuri sunk into the leather seat beneath him. His body felt broken as he looked out of the window. The driver pulling off towards the airport as soon as Celestino was within the cab.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a massive debate with my friends for the best food to eat for a hangover and let me hint to you the amount of research I put in to find a place near the Sochi Expo Centre that had Mexican food. LUCKILY, There was ONE place. One Mexican restaurant in that part of Russia.
> 
> I appreciate everyone's comments, so far they have been nothing but helpful and I'm glad for that.


	4. New Hope Colours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Without a thought behind it, Yuuri leaped into the air.
> 
> One. Two. Three. Four rotations.
> 
> The raven-haired skater landed on his right foot. His left leg still coiled around his right as he rotated. His left foot pointed outward until it finished the rotation to the back. His arms were out-stretched.
> 
> And that was when he fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't own YOI <3

It was a little more than a week into his return to Detroit from the Finals that Yuuri decided enough was enough. 

 

He about startled the life out of Phichit, who had been studying. Yuuri only had a couple months left until graduation. The Thai skater,  however, still had another quarter after this.   

The brunet skater was previously lying face down on his bed, headphones in. Yuuri was listening to the Playlist he made for all the different songs Viktor had ever skated too. It was amazing the music you could find on Spotify. When in a burst of energy he got up, grabbed his skate bag and ran out of the room.  

Yuuri ran all the way to the ice rink which they used as a home rink there in Detroit. He had almost gotten lost, distracted by all the colours, he almost didn’t recognize anything.

Once he made his way into the entrance to the rink, he had to force the smile on his lips. The petite blonde girl at the counter attempted some small talk with him as he checked into the rink. He was more distracted by her eyes than anything else around him, she had one sapphire eye and one emerald.  

Yuuri laughed to himself, it was still a lot to take in. The span of colours. 

She tried to talk to him about his sixth place and how there was always next year. How it was a relief to see him back at the rink again. Yuuri nodded  politely  , excusing himself with a short bow as he headed for the locker room.  

There was a sense of relief that washed over Yuuri as he fixed to put his skates on. It was a sense of home. Somewhere he knew he belonged. It felt fantastic to be on the ice again, but where did he go from there. 

It was alleviating how empty the rink was. It was only him and a couple of students he had seen there before, skating for fun. Yuuri found himself drifting on the frozen surface. He had his headphones in again and had resumed play on his Viktor playlist.  

He needed a moment to think, a place to exist where there was nothing demanded of him. Only for an hour. And he felt so bad for Phichit. The younger boy had been such a champ for dealing with the Japanese skater and his moodiness.  Since he broke things off with Celestino, the Italian coach has been able to focus more energy into Phichit  .  

Without a thought behind it, Yuuri leaped into the air.

One. Two. Three. Four rotations. 

The brunet skater landed on his right foot. His left leg still coiled around his right as he rotated. His left foot pointed outward until it finished the rotation to the back. His arms were outstretched. 

And that was when he fell.

Yuuri laid on the coolness of the ice and thought. He was in disbelief. Did he actually just land a Quadruple salchow? If you could really consider that a landing.  

His laughter filled the empty skating rink. The couple, he assumed, having left without him noticing. He threw his fists into the air in victory.

Pulling himself off the ice, he glided around some more. Those chocolate-hued eyes widened as a specific song played from his playlist. Thoughts, Ideas, Memories poured into his head and he could feel his body bursting with energy. He smiled brighter than he had in the last week.

He skated over to the edge of the rink, resting his outstretched arms on the fiberglass siding. He allowed his head to drop between his arms. He could feel himself laughing again, unable to hear anything over the music from his hheadphones.

The touch on his shoulder caused him to fall backward, his hand over his now racing heart. Yuuri looked up and found the blonde attendant. She smiled  apologetically  as he removed an earbud from his ear.  

“It’s closing time, Mr. Katsuki.”

He pushed himself back up off the ice and immediately bowed to the young lady.

“Gomen nasai.”

Yuuri almost immediately rattled off before he rose, offering her a smile.

“Thank you for taking care of me.”

He told her as he got off the ice, placing the guards back over the blades as she waved her hand in front of her face.

“The pleasure is all ours. I’m jjust gladou are looking better than when you arrived. It’s good to see that you worked out whatever was on your mind.”  

He smiled again. She was right for the most part. He did manage to find his way towards the light. But he wasn’t free of this slump yet. He bowed, another thank you rolled off his tongue before he headed for the locker room.

Yuuri had to contain his excitement. He ran all the way back to his shared room. He was so relieved when he found Phichit still awake. He about tackled the Thai skater, who had moved his studies from the desk to his bed.

“ฉันขอโทษฉันขอโทษฉันขอโทษฉันขอโทษฉันขอโทษฉันขอโทษ(C̄hạn k̄hxthos̄ʹ[I’m sorry])…”

The brunet skater prattled off in the basics of Thai that Phichit taught him. He received a laugh in return. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay! I’m relieved you are back, I  was worried  !”  

Yuuri laughed at himself, wiping a tear from his eye as he sat on the bed with Phichit. The Japanese skater tossed his skate bag onto his side of the room before he turned back to the other.

“Phichit-kun… I went to the rink this evening… and I didn’t intend to, but I landed a quad loop… I landed a quad loop. Then something came over my playlist. It revived my love for skating...”

Yuuri looked down at his hands.

“But, I still haven’t decided anything…”

Phichit’s brow furrowed at that statement, watching Yuuri get up, heading over to his own bed. He tossed himself down on it, folding his arms behind his head.

“But for now, I have something I want to work on… I still have 3 months to make a solid decision...”


	5. Back Home Colours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He chuckled inside his head. Maybe he just needs to think of Viktor whenever he skates. Yuuri took a deep breath, last jump. Maybe his luck had finally wore out and he’d flub this last jump.
> 
> Quadruple loop, step, triple loop. Absolutely immaculate.
> 
> Yuuri watched the world spin and the music began to die down and before he knew it, it was over and he was staring at the ceiling of the ice castle. A little winded but riding a high that came from nowhere. It took Yuuri a moment to adjust, the colours that were so bright before had dulled back to when he had first got there.

Yuuri’s head fell against the train wall with a dull thump. Not only was his body exhausted, but his emotions were completely drained. 

_And he still hadn't made a decision._

He drew in a long breath as he watched the familiar landscape of Japan rush before his eyes. It made him a little nauseous as the world spun in colours around him. He had spent the last three months of his college studying for his final exams. And when he wasn't studying he was at the rink. 

His nerves were failing him again as they drew closer and closer to Hasetsu. He could see the castle now. He was completely mesmerized by the shades of pink dancing on the cherry blossom trees. Dread weighed on his stomach, thoughts drifting towards his friends and family. 

 

Then to _Vicchan._

 

He was finally able to come home and see Vicchan. Yuuri found himself again with tears in his eyes and wiped them away quick, he wasn't about to cry in public. He honestly just wanted to go home, see Vicchan, and crawl into bed. A sigh fell past his lips before he closed his eyes. He knew it would be another twenty minutes before they were at the station. 

Yuuri watched as the train pulled away. He was home. But it didn't feel like it. It felt like the farthest thing from it. He watched people coming and going as he moved toward the escalator. So much had changed in this little town that even the train station now had elevated platforms. He slid his travel mask down as he descended the platform.

 

**Five years .**

 

It didn't seem like a long time until he thought about it. That was when it saw it. Shock soaked every feature of his expression. He could not hide the stunned expression. His face plastered on the wall opposite the escalator. 

“Yuuuuuri~! Why are you sulking around?”

The poor brunet skater jumped out of his skin as the sound of his name pulled him from his thoughts. He’d almost recognize that voice anywhere.  The shock continued as he realized that she would have information about his homecoming  . 

"Minako-sensei!”

The brunette beamed with a bright intensity, twirling around with her sign in hand. As she held it outstretched, scrolled across were pink lettering that read his name.

“Welcome back, after five long years!”

A sigh left Yuuri’s lips, he expected Okaasan or even Mari-neechan. He shifted back into auto-pilot as time passed. He could hear the whispers. Yes, he was Katsuki Yuuri. A failure of a Japanese Figure skater. Before he knew what else was going on, Minako was yelling at him about being nice to his fans. 

It took more time than he wanted to escape the train station. Minako was dragging him through the terminal, heading for the parking lot. He  barely  registered asking her if she had a ballet class today. She rattled off something about Hasetsu losing more and more people. 

"You should cheer things up around here, Yuuri!”

He stopped. Which forced Minako to stop.

“I...I’m sorry… I’m  really  tired right now.”  

That’s right, exhaustion. That was a good excuse, right? The feeling of being an overwhelming failure at the one thing he has been doing his entire life. It was crushing. He kept feeling the weight get heavier and heavier. Yuuri’s body ached because of the display at the Grand Prix. And it wasn’t that he didn’t want to see everyone, who were so excited to have him home. He didn’t want everyone seeing him. 

The car ride back to the onsen was sat in silence.  Every time Minako would try to bring up some sort of conversation, the brunet skater would reply with a one or two-word answer and then fall silent  .  Even though he was finally back home, he was struggling to find the excitement as he called out from the front entrance  . 

“I’m back…”

A small weight fell off as he saw his mom come jogging in from the main dining room. He was happy to see her happy. He cruised through their conversation when he felt a burning gaze upon him. Every fiber of his being was telling him not to look left. Do. Not. Look. Left. 

There was that oh so familiar sensei voice. Oh was she upset. Yuuri crouched down in an attempt to make a run for it but she got a hold of him. He didn’t realize she was so fast.

_Hat. Mask. Scarf. Backpack. Coat._

They all went flying before the sound of Minako’s shrill voice echoed the small entry way.  Just  another thing that piled on the disappointment in himself. The weight gain. It didn't help that he gained with such ease. But then the depression did not help.  

Minako was back to yelling, pointing out the fact to Otosan this what not the body a figure skater should have. It made him so uncomfortable.

Vicchan. Bed. Vicchan then Bed. That’s all he kept reminding himself in his head as the conversation proceeded forward. He took a moment to interrupt his father talking about Katsudon.

“But before that…”

Yuuri saw his mom’s face soften. She knew. She always knew.

“Go say Hi to Vicchan.”

It was the moment Yuuri has been waiting for. A moment to excuse himself from everyone now that they had  been greeted  .  

He had a quiet talk with Vicchan like he used to before he left for college. He then faced another conversation. A reminder of the reality he was facing as he talked with Mari-neechan. Who up until that point was giving him his space. 

His family’s onsen was divine in the simplest form. He wanted to stay in that hot water that washed his worries away. That crushing burden. Melted away in the heat of the spring. 

It wasn’t long before Yuuri found himself running down the familiar road towards the Ice Castle. He wasn’t expecting to head to the rink the day he arrived back home, but everything seemed right. Something was telling him to go. He was jogging across the bridge when the sunset caught his breath.  

Pinks and purples. The gulls chirping in the background. He smiled. He felt like he was escaping into the sunset.

Yuuri  was surprised  when he walked into the Ice Castle. His familiar rink mate was still working there after five years.  

“Excuse me…”

He sounded timid. There was always the ring of disappointment in the back of his ear.

“Our regular hours are over…”

Then their eyes met and the small brunette gasped. Yuuri smiled again. They chatted as Yuuri put his skates on.

He took a deep breath.

“Yu-chan…. Do you have a moment?”

He could see the curiosity in her eyes as she followed him towards the rink. Yuuri removed his guards and set them on the barrier, stepping out onto the ice. He turned in a half circle and approached Yuko. Sliding off his glasses, he folded them and placed them in her hand.

“Um...I wanted you to see this… so I’ve been practicing it since the competitions ended… Please watch.”

With that said, Yuuri disappeared off the center of the ice.

It was deathly silent, but he could hear the music in perfect tune. He had wished he had brought his phone with him. But it wouldn’t hinder his performance any.

Yuuri could have sworn for a moment there, all the colours in the rink got brighter. Everything was crisper, sharper.

The Japanese skater had no idea what was going on. He felt an unexpected relaxation. He felt at ease. He made the first jump. 

_Quadruple lutz. Flawless._

There was a brief moment of the sequence where Yuuri felt as if he was actually hearing the music. The next jump was coming up.

**Quadruple flip. Seamless.**

His heart soared as he landed. It was racing faster than he knew. He knew his mind was playing tricks on him now as he heard the unfamiliar roar of the crowd. 

Yuuri felt free as he spun the combination spin. Every bit of doubt and worry. Disappointment and fear vanished. A small smile crossed his lips as he coasted, one leg outstretched. He felt like he was dancing with someone. Lifting his spirits. He leaped into a single spin, falling into a sit as he landed, still twisting.

Yuuri glided at peace across the ice. It was an elegant affair, this small segment of steps. Why couldn’t he have danced like this at the Grand Prix? There was that little devil of doubt again as the next jump came up.

_Quadruple salchow. Perfect._

Next was the easy part. Yuuri felt like he was floating. There was something magical as he pushed through the intricate step sequence. Triple lutz combo triple loop. Simple. Beautiful. Triple lutz. Triple Flip. When was the last time Yuuri landed so many jumps? How was he giving such a flawless performance now, why not three months ago?

He chuckled inside his head.  Maybe  he  just  needs to think of Viktor whenever he skates. Yuuri took a deep breath, last jump.  Maybe  his luck had finally worn out and he’d flub this last jump. 

**Quadruple loop, step, triple loop. Absolutely immaculate.**

Yuuri watched the world spin and the music began to die down. Before he knew it, it was over and he was staring at the ceiling of the ice castle. A little winded but riding a high that came from nowhere. It took Yuuri a moment to adjust, the colours that were so bright before had dulled back to when he had first got there. 

Oh! Chocolate-hued eyes immediately turned to Yuko. She looked awestruck.

“That was super cool!!! A perfect copy of Viktor! Awesome!”

She was slamming her hands on the barrier in excitement.

“I thought you’d  be depressed  or something.”  

A bashful smile came over Yuuri’s face. She had no idea. The depression had been overwhelming. Even up to the point when he stepped out onto the ice here.

“I was… But then I got bored of feeling depressed, so I got to thinking…”

The brunet skater was remembering the conversation he had with Phichit.

“I wanted to get my love for skating back… I thought I could remember how it was when I copied Viktor with you. Yu-chan… I’ve… I’ve always…”

He finally forced himself to look back up at her when three more heads appeared. Blue, purple, and pink.

“OH! Axel, Lutz, Loop! Haven’t they grown since you last saw them?”

Yuuri  was surprised  . He wasn’t aware that there were other’s still here. He wondered if Takeshi was there, as well.  

“Y-yeah..”

 

**“Yuuri, you really did get fat!” **

Lutz chirped up, that was the thing with children. They could surprise you with whatever words flowed out of their mouth. 

 

**“Are you really retiring?”**

Loop followed her sister’s suit.

 

**“You’ve never had a girlfriend?”**

Axel finished the bombardment. And there was the set.

 

“HEY!”

Yuuri laughed as he watched the four interact. That was when he heard the last one skate up behind him. Ah, now all the Nishigori’s were there. It was nice seeing them again, but, he did not appreciate how Takeshi teased him still. But, he knew deep down that the family was one of his biggest fans and supporters. 

This time, Yuuri snuck into the onsen through the back. Avoiding customers and his family completely. It was nice to be alone. He was feeling better after skating for Yuko. The brunet skater nestled into his bed, setting an alarm for the morning, he was set on getting back into shape. 

_During the five years I was away, I tried to ignore a lot of things by focusing on skating. I wonder what I need so I can keep skating on my own…_

Hasetsu was a beautiful seaside town. And the dancing cherry blossoms painted the landscape in pastel pinks. Yuuri smiled, gaze extending out as he looked to the ocean blues of the early morning, glad to be home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to upload chapter 4 and 5 together. Then I got stuck about halfway through Chapter 5. I realized I was following the show more than I wanted to. But I finally decided that after Yuuri shows Yuko the program, I could do my own thing, follow the show timeline without actually having to quote the show. 
> 
> Sorry for the slow build. It should pick up after this.


	6. Colours that hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor was so close to the barrier. As he was was during this part of the sequence. There was usually a female fan there he could, with an absent mind, entrance through the music.
> 
> Not this time. Not in his mind.
> 
> Standing at that barrier was the captivating Japanese skater. A bashful smile played on the lips of the Yuuri within his mind, chin resting on his hand. Elbow on the barrier as he watching with love as if Viktor was speaking to only him.
> 
> A soft smile played on his own lips.
> 
> Quadruple loop, step, triple loop. He’s landed all his quads!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own YOI! <3

The train from Sochi to Moscow, and then from Moscow to Saint Petersburg left time for a lot of thinking for the platinum-haired Russian. With each passing day, a dull ache crept up within Viktor’s chest. For the first few days, he didn’t quite understand it. It was a familiar pain. It reminded him of the emotions he locked away in the depths of his heart.

 

He was young when he gave up on the novel concepts of real love. He molded his thoughts and feelings into the love his fans had for him. Without them, what was he?

Even though the pain was seeping into his bones, he could understand the first few weeks of silence after the Grand Prix. Most of the World’s skaters were busiest now with all the championships before Worlds. A brief smile crossed those rosy lips. If that Japanese skater could manage to win gold at the Japanese Nationals, would he be able to see him at Worlds?

 

Even if Viktor managed to meet up with him again...

_What would he say?_

**How would this work?**

 

The Russian had been back in Saint Petersburg for three weeks now. Pushing, training, turning the ache in his heart into the sweat on his brow. In less than a day, he would be back down in Sochi for the Russian Championship but his heart wasn’t in it. His mind kept finding that place to wander to. That depth of despair that Viktor tried, he tried so hard, to keep it locked away.

 

Perhaps this Yuuri Katsuki was just nervous? _Shy?_

 

A weighted sigh came from his lips as he fell backward onto his bed. He curled up in a ball before he felt another weight on the bed, a bundle of fluff snuggled against him.

“Makka… what am I supposed to do?”

He rolled over and pulled the fluffy pup towards him, pressing his nose into the curly fur. The tears burned his eyes and cheeks, but they flowed with little effort.

“I can’t sink back into that place Makka…”

A wet nose pressed against his face, but the tears wouldn’t stop.

* * *

 

Viktor took a deep breath as he stepped from the train, Yakov not far behind. Being back in Sochi made his heart ache. He had been practicing so much in the final week before his own country's championship, that he completely forgot about the Japanese Figure Skating Championship.

 

So Viktor looked up the results of the competition. His heart ached again thinking about it.

 

The Russian skater traversed the station with his coach in silence. It was easy. Almost effortless for him to bottle this thoughts and feelings. For him to cruise through these things on autopilot.

Paparazzi, news reporters, journalists.

Smile and _wave._

Smile and **wink.**

Let the whole world fall in love what they think is ~~you.~~

 

Russian Nationals: Gold Medal.

* * *

 

Viktor spent the next month, between national championships, at the ice rink. He poured his blood and sweat into his routine. From the moment the rink opened until Yakov had to almost physically remove him from the ice.

He wasn’t oblivious, though. He could hear them talking. He could hear the whispers from the other skaters.

 

_//Could this be Viktor’s final season?//_

_//Is he losing his touch?//_

_//Has he lost his inspiration?//_

 

Once he was home, that’s when he could fall apart.

That was when he could be himself.

That’s when he found himself drowning.

 

The European Nationals was easier that the Russian Nationals, fewer memories. Less pain. He was able to play the part he danced in front of the world. The more time between the touch that blinded their souls, the more Viktor felt as he used to.

 

European Nationals: Gold Medal.

* * *

 

Yoyogi, Japan. The location for Worlds.

 

With the short program out of the way, he had nothing more to worry about it. He knew his free program would be exceptional. As it always was. Viktor was feeling like his old self with ease, just with everything in muted colour. He had waited and waited.

 

For foolishly hopeful minutes.

For quiet hours.

For weary days.

 

But all he faced was a comfortable silence. It didn’t take much for the little voice that was so quiet to speak louder. _бесцветный(_ bestsvetnyy _/colorless)_. At first, it whispered.

 

_Бесцветный._ It’s voice grew in volumes. And he was forced to accept what he feared. He was a _бесцветный_ , a colorless, a one-sided soulbond. It was okay. He was okay. He could live his life like this.

He removed his sunglasses, a bright smile, and wink towards the female fans amongst the cameras. As he entered the competition rink, he was met with unfriendly looks. Viktor didn’t socialize much with the skaters other than at the gala’s at the end, but those were not really voluntary. It was nice to have his usual air of confidence back.

Viktor relaxed and stretched while the first group skated. He was in the second group, last. What was that saying, save the best for last? A pretentious smile crossed his lips. This was best. He reminded himself. This was best for both for them.

The cameras followed him about. Eyes on him as he practiced in the hallway as one by one the other skaters passed by him until it was finally his turn.

 

It was an overwhelming feeling. The lights. The cheers. The world’s eyes on him.

 

“Last up is Viktor Nikiforov from Russia!”

 

The silver-haired Russian smiled as he skated across the ice, arms out, waving to the people in the crowd. They went wild. They always went wild. The screams were deafening. His heart was pounding within his chest. Not from the worry. He was going to win gold without a worry. The crowd was his lifeblood and it reminded him he had a reason for what he did.

Yet, what surprised the Russian skater most was when the muted tone of the colors brightened. Everything around him got brighter, crisper. Just as suddenly as the music began, it faded. The crowd faded.

It felt as if he were the only one there in that large complex. He could barely hear the announcers. Everything was so quiet. He felt a strange energy as he lept into the air.

 

**Quadruple lutz.** Very clean.

 

It was a feeling that he hadn’t felt since the Grand Prix. Everything felt warm. And happy. Almost intoxicating. He pushed off for his next jump, his signature move.

 

_Quadruple flip._ He lands this one too!

 

Viktor felt as if he were floating. His heart was racing again, he felt...nervous. How strange. He hasn’t felt nervous in years. He smiled inwardly. Something changed. Something mystical was happening.

Viktor had to focus on the music to make sure they were playing Aria and not Duetto. He was alone on the ice but he felt entangled with a partner. He wanted this feeling to last forever.

It put a little extra into his next jump.

 

**Quadruple salchow.**

 

Now onto the step sequence. He tried to picture the person he would be dancing with. Who he was asking to Stay Close to Him. With each step, he was begging. Pleading. Imploring. Don’t leave me. Stay here. Not only in my heart. But by my side.

_This is who am I._ **This is everything I am.** I am not hiding anymore.

 

Triple lutz.

His heart began to hurt again. Those chocolate-hued eyes came to his mind. He thought he was finally past this, why did they haunt him so beautifully. He tried not to let his emotions show when he skated but the pain leaked through his mask.

Triple flip.

Viktor was so close to the barrier. As he always was during this part of the sequence. There was usually a female fan there he could, with an absent mind, entrance through the music.

 

Not this time. Not in his mind.

 

Standing at that barrier was the captivating Japanese skater. A bashful smile played on the lips of the Yuuri within his mind, chin resting on his hand. Elbow on the barrier as he watching with love as if Viktor was speaking to only him.

 

A soft smile played on his own lips.

 

_Quadruple loop, step, triple loop._ He’s landed all his quads!!!

 

Viktor didn’t know what was more dizzying at that moment, his rapid heartbeat or the combination spin. He felt on top of the world. Unbeatable. Unmatchable.

He was breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath, forcing his emotions back into check. He wanted to scream in frustration as the beautiful colours dulled back down again. He wanted to stay in that moment forever. Whatever that moment was. However it's creations came to be.

 

Every cell in his body screamed for it.

 

As he skated off the ice, he had little interest to head to the kiss and cry. He already knew. Everyone already knew. That was his best performance. But now what.

 

Announcement.

Medals.

Photos.

More Photos.

Conference.

 

Viktor’s thoughts were distracted through the entire end of the Championship. He remembered being on the ice at one point with Chris and Otabek on either side of him. His lips placing a tender kissing the gold medal that was around his neck. The spotlight he was accustomed to.

Next, he was with Chris and Otabek again, standing in front of the conference hall they had set up for interviews. **Smile** and _wave_.

With Chris to his right and Otabek to his left, he was asked a very loaded question.

“What do you have in mind for next season?”

His finger reached up, gently rubbing his chin as turquoise-hued eyes shifted away. He contemplated the best way to answer.

 

“I’m undecided.”

 

Viktor gave a playful wink to the crowd.

 

“Not like I would say anyway. Where is the fun in that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just need to bend him a little. Just a little. You can go back to your corner now Shoulder Satan.


	7. Shades of Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A soft bark was heard as Viktor took the first steps forward. His heart was pounding in his chest and the ground felt as if it were going to fall out from underneath him. A pale hand reached out to grab the wooden door frame as he slowly made his way inside.
> 
> It felt like home.
> 
> Even though his apartment in Saint Petersburg was his house, this was what home was supposed to feel like. He was greeted at the door by a small, but plump Japanese woman. He saw a lot of Yuuri in her and that made him smile a little more than he meant to. He mentally smacked himself. Why was he acting like this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own YOI <3

_Obligations were fulfilled._

_Requirements met._

 

He was the **five-time** World’s gold medalist now.

 

Viktor soon found his thoughts wandering away from him. They dawdled back into the mindscape of that final free program. The emotions that were tangled in there. How it made every nerve in his body scream and burn wildly. It felt almost like getting drunk.

And the Russian would do anything for another taste.

When he finally glanced around, most of the other Russian skaters were staring at him as he drifted back and forth on the ice. He had his earbuds tucked in and phone secured to his arm.

He had been listening to so many songs on Spotify he had begun to tune out. The music pouring through his ears at that moment grabbed his attention. He slipped the device from its cozy pocket and glanced at the screen.

_Ai it Tsuite. Agape._

A few taps later and it was added to his playlist. He swiped to the left and was stunned by the next song. A counterpart. The missing piece.

_Ai it Tsuite. Eros._

A clever smile began to traverse his lips. The others almost immediately shifted their gaze, they knew. The genius had a strike of inspiration. Only one set of emerald-hued eyes remained fixated on him. They watched as Viktor glided across the ice towards the barrier near them.

“What new magnificent program are you planning out now, Viktor?”

As his head tilted to the side, silver locks falling in the same direction, he plucked an earbud and twirled it around his finger.

“You’ll have to wait and see with everyone else, Yura.”

Viktor laughed at the response he got from the blond, a growl of frustration and the young boy skating away. As he leaned against the barrier, he looked out of the bright windows that surrounded the ice rink.

He grabbed his skate guards as he watched the clouds roll in. He could hear some sort of loud noise in the background. He brought his water bottle to his lips, heading for the locker room. It had taken about two or three loops before Viktor realized that this Eros song was stuck on repeat. Not that he minded, it kept his mind distracted where so many other things had failed to do so.

Not wanting to give preferential treatment to either song before he chose one, he swiped to the right. Agape flowing back through his earbuds. It took him a short minute, but he made a single playlist with both songs on it. That way he could listen to them equally as they both stroked his inspiration.

As Viktor slung his backpack over his shoulder, he had this nagging feeling that he was forgetting something. His mind soon drifted away as Agape morphed into Eros. The music yet again pulling his mind from everything else around him. Forcing him to focus it on the moment as he headed out of the rink.

The silver-haired Russian found himself dancing and twirling on the sidewalk as he made his way home. He was glad to be wrapped up in his own beautiful world. He was contentedly oblivious to the stares he was getting from pedestrians on the street. It was effortless for Viktor to flow between the two songs, his planned sequences never faltered or confused.

* * *

Viktor had been planning and playing with the two similar, yet very opposite sequences. He’d only taken them to the ice a little less than a week ago. It also stopped the incessant nagging because he was actually working on something instead of just being lazy. Ever since the press conference at world’s, he had received nothing but persistent pestering from Yakov.

 

_Vitya, this and Vitya, that._

 

It played to Viktor’s mood that today was his day off.

The Russian usually didn’t know what to do with himself on his days off. He had already taken Makka out for a run this morning. He did the dishes. He put his laundry away. So there he lay, stretched out across the slate sofa, the brown poodle snuggled against his side as he thumbed through social media.

Social media platforms were where Viktor could interact and yet, not with his fellow competitors. Instagram was like peeking through tiny windows of their lives. After thumbing through some silly photos on Instagram, he opened Twitter. Viktor usually avoided Facebook and Twitter for at least seven days after any major competition. Because his notifications were usually flooded with his World’s footage, congratulations, and the general adoration of the public.

His silvery brows furrowed as he saw one notification after another. His turquoise eyes narrowed, he recognized a lot of the names in the final set of the notifications for him to watch a YouTube link. With an unabashed sigh, he tapped the link, almost immediately bringing up the application.

 

Everything **froze.**

 

Viktor stared at the title of the video while it loaded.

 

**[Yuuri Katsuki] Tried to Skate Viktor’s FS Program [Stay Close to Me]**

 

As the almost five-minute video came to an end, the Russian didn’t know what to think. He didn’t know what to feel. His heart was racing and yet, at the same time, it ached. He glanced up as his forehead furrowed again. Turquoise eyes stared at everything and nothing. He barely registered Makkachin slinking off the sofa, heading into the kitchen.

 

Then it happened. His phone threw from his hand in the direction of the bathroom door, crashing with the wood as Viktor stood. A growl rattled his throat as he grabbed under the sofa, lobbing it behind him, towards the entry closet. He chucked the small end table, scattering the books across the floor. The black floor lamp fell over in the process.

 

Viktor was seeing red as he bellowed in frustration, the door of his bedroom made a sickly cracking noise as it also slammed against the bathroom door.

* * *

So much had happened that afternoon. Makkachin on board the aircraft. The boxes the Viktor packed should arrive later tomorrow. He said his farewells to Yakov, whom he coaxed into giving him a ride to the airport anyway.

He pressed his forehead against the cold airline window and watched the bright lights of Saint Petersburg vanish behind him. It was only then that Viktor wondered what kind of move he was making.

In a little more than 13 hours, he was going to be in Hasetsu, Japan.

This was a decision based on three solid, silent months and one viral YouTube video. Said video of which he has rewatched dozens of times already. Watching Yuuri Katsuki skate his free program called out to something within his soul that made everything sore. The video had been uploaded the same day as he skated it at Worlds.

The cabin lights dimmed and Viktor was thankful he was alone in his set of seats. His throat felt tight as he pulled his knees against his chest. He buried his face when soundless sobs racked his body and tears ran down his cheeks.

 

Maybe. Just maybe he wasn’t a _бесцветный(bestsvetnyy/colourless)_ after all.

* * *

Viktor was beyond happy that Makkachin was so good not on his leash. He didn’t have the energy to deal with an antsy Makka at the moment. He was also very surprised with the snow in April in Japan. In Saint Petersburg, that would be almost something to expect for the season.

The Russian brushed some platinum locks out of his face as he looked at his phone. Then up at the small, but quaint building in front of him. This was the place. It was glowing with tiny orange lanterns and he was dazzled with the adorable violet sign that read “Yu-topia”. Turquoise-hued eyes glanced down to the brown poodle at his side.

“You be good and down leave the area, okay Makka?”

A soft bark was heard as Viktor took the first steps forward. His heart was pounding in his chest and the ground felt as if it were going to fall out from underneath him. A pale hand reached out to grab the wooden door frame as he slowly made his way inside.

 

_It felt like home._

 

Even though his apartment in Saint Petersburg was his house, this was what home was supposed to feel like. He was greeted at the door by a small, but plump Japanese woman. He saw a lot of Yuuri in her and that made him smile a little more than he meant to. He mentally smacked himself. Why was he acting like this?

“Welcome! I’m Hiroko”

She greeted him with a soft bow. Her smile reminded him of his mothers, warm and always inviting.

“How can we help you?”

This was Viktor’s first time at an Onsen in Japan. He didn’t quite know how to respond and smiled nervously, that was when her eyes lit up.

“Ah! You’ve never been to an onsen before, have you? Not a problem.”

She laughed with such a warmth as she walked over the booth beside the entry way.

“Toshiya.”

A man with glasses like Yuuri’s appeared in the window, a smile on his face.

“Koko ni gaikoku hito ga ite, kare wa tasuke ga hitsuyōdesu. (There is a foreigner here and he needs help.) Watashi wa yuki no shaberu suru Yūri o shutoku suru tsumoridesu (I am going to get Yuuri to shovel snow).”

“Hai!”

He replied as she walked away, Viktor watched his older man approach him.

“Toshiya.”

He also bowed in front of Viktor, before his head tilted, vaguely recalling having seen him somewhere before. Viktor followed suit, bowing and introducing himself.

“Viktor.”

Toshiya waved for the Russian to follow him as he led him through the onsen dining room, after telling him to remove his shoes at the door. Turquoise eyes took everything in, eyes darting around as he soaked in every bit of information about the hot spring. He could, however, feel his jet lag catching up with him.

The smaller Japanese man showed Viktor the changing room and from there explained the washing area then the hot spring. Viktor nodded, it seemed simple enough, he offered a small ‘arigatou’ as Toshiyo departed the changing room.

The silver-haired Russian lacked a single modest bone in his body and easily shed himself of his clothing. He could feel the heat from the hot spring already and could not wait to get in. He grabbed a few things from his suitcase and proceeded to the washing room. It felt nice to wash after a thirteen and some hour trip.

As the Russian made his way outside, he took a deep breath of the fresh, salty air. It even smelled like Saint Petersburg. Viktor was supposed to come up with some sort of plan on the plane ride here, but his nerves left him. He was here and bound to run into Yuuri sooner, now, rather than later.

Soak first, then he would tackle his problem. He really wasn’t expecting to see the Japanese skater in the actual hot spring anyway. A small blush painted his nose as he dipped his toes into the warm water. A gentle moan rang in his throat as he sunk lower. It was the most amazing feeling in the world.

Viktor made very sure to fold up his towel, balancing it with ease on his head. He felt silly, but etiquette was etiquette. He leaned against the stones surrounding the pool. Unaware of how easy it was to forget the outside world from within the hot water.

 

**“Vi… Viktor?”**

 

Turquoise-hued eyes shifted back into focus. Viktor having been thinking about things elsewhere when the unexpected call of his name drew him back to the onsen. He lifted his gaze to find a look of complete shock on the Japanese skater’s face.

His own heart was pounding. The sound of the blood in his ears was deafening. He hadn’t had time to come up with a plan. He had nothing. He heard that tiny little voice in his head, what if he sends you away? Leave бесцветный, leave. He barely registered the next thing the raven-haired skater mumbled.

A pale hand reached up, catching the towel as it slid from his head. A took a deep breath as he stood. There was only one thing that he could do. Lay it out there. Show him his cards and say this is my play.

The best smile that he could muster plastered his face as he reached out to the bashful Japanese skater.

“Yuuri, Starting today, I am your coach!”

Good. Spectacular. Perfect. Slip the mask on and everything is easier.

“I’ll make you win the Grand Prix Final.”

 

You are simply flawless. **Smile** and _wink._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing for Viktor. I mean, I love writing them both. But there is so much more. I was going to have Viktor get depressed again after he saw the video, but the look on his face in the anime was angry determination, not sadness. I mean, we've only seen Viktor angry, twice (I was reminded of the other time, I don't know how I forgot!!). The first time, he looked like he was going to just backhand Yurio and the second time, he cried in front of Yuuri.. 3


	8. Orange you glad I came

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After landing the quadruple lutz, he looked to the barrier. He spied Axel, Lutz, and Loop along with Yuko, star struck as they watched. He couldn’t help but laugh, Lutz with a camera, Axel with a camcorder and Loop with a phone, his face on the case. He wondered if they were the reason Yuuri’s video got uploaded.
> 
> If they were, he should take them out for ice cream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own YOI! <3
> 
> I don't know, please don't ask about the title. XD

Viktor’s usual star-struck smile crept across pale lips as he tapped them with his fingers. The rest of the evening, after he got out of the hot spring, has been very, very interesting. And that Katsudon bowl. Vkusno!

Turquoise eyes shifted as a certain sleepy raven-haired skater wandered past his door. Shuffling to get up, the Russian grabbed the blanket that was on loan to him through the onsen and scrambled to the door. Both he and Makkachin peered out from around the door frame as Yuuri shut the door to his room.

Viktor glanced down to Makkachin, a bright smile crossed his lips as he strolled from the room and right up to Yuuri’s door, the fluffy poodle at his side. He lifted a pale hand to the door, rasping away on it.

“Yuuuuuurrrrrriiiii!!!! Let’s have a sleepover!!! As your coach there’s so much I need to learn about you!!”

 

**“NOO!”**

 

His smile fell just a touch.

“Yuri!”

Viktor heard scurrying and what sounded like the shuffling of papers from within, but when he tried to open the door, it was locked.

“Yuri.”

By the time he glanced to Makkachin again, his smile was nowhere to be found.

“Yuri?”

He felt the smallest tug at the sleeve of his onsen robe. Viktor saw familiar black eyes staring back at him, Makka’s muzzle against his sleeve with a bit of the fabric in his mouth. Everything was going blurry when Viktor took a deep breath, smiling to the brown fluff ball.

“L-lets go to bed M-makkachin.”

That usually calm and collected tone was breaking in places it shouldn’t. He really didn’t know what he expected. That was a lie, He knew exactly what he was hoping for. He was hoping for some sort of acknowledgment. Some shred of proof.

His room door slid shut behind him and he sunk to the floor. His body felt heavy. He had felt rejection before, he was not as naive as to assume everyone loved him. This, though, seemed worse. A wetness surprised him as did the rough tongue on his face. He reached out and scratched behind Makkachin’s ears.

“Oh, Makkachin…”

A half-hearted laugh escaped his lips before he began to shed his sage green spa robe, crawling across the floor towards the futon as he did so. Viktor made a quick mental note that he needed a proper bed as soon as he could.

He shook out the blanket that he had taken with him, crawling underneath it. A sigh of relief slipped past his lips at the cool cloth against his skin. It only took Makkachin a moment to snuggle in under the blanket.

“He must be shy, Makka…. Like earlier when he was bringing my boxes up…”

A blush dusted Viktor’s cheeks as he remembered how close he was able to get to him. The feel of Yuuri’s skin under his fingertips again. His heart was racing as he stared down those ravishing, all-consuming, caramel shaded eyes. He hugged Makkachin just a little closer, as he felt a dampness on his cheek again.

The soft breath on his neck from Makka tickled, his gaze shifted to this phone for the briefest of moments before he looked away. Reminiscing would only make this moment hurt more. His eyelids grew heavier as each moment passed, but before he drifted off into dreamland, he noticed an oddly familiar pair of ocean coloured eyes.

* * *

 

“Yuuuuuuuuuuri!!!!”

A pale hand knocked against the still locked door.

“Yuuuuri! Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuri!!!!!!!”

A smile as bright as the sun greeted the raven-haired skater as he opened his door, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Ohayou Viktor…”

With a spin of the shoulders, Viktor turned the sleepy Japanese boy around and pushed him back into his room.

“Day One! Let’s get you changed!!”

Without hesitation, those pale fingers were at the hem of Yuuri’s shirt, pulling the piece of fabric up. The most ungodly noise escaped the other’s mouth before Viktor was roughly shoved out of Yuuri’s room, the door immediately slamming behind him. Turquoise eyes stared at the door for a moment longer than he should have, curious as to this strange, bashful Yuuri.

“Make sure you are dressed for a jog!!!”

Viktor called out through the wooden door. With a sigh, he turned and headed down to the first floor of the onsen, his thoughts reflecting back to his first time meeting the Japanese skater. In turn, they shifted and began comparing that moment to now.

He was so lost in his thoughts, he narrowly missed running into Hiroko.

“Ohayou Vik-chan! Did you sleep well?”

She received a smile and nod from the silver-haired Russian, who then surprised her as he leaned in, giving her a warm hug. She laughed and returned the gesture, gently rubbing his back.

“I did sleep well, thank you Hiroko-san.”

She laughed again, her hand covering her mouth as she did so.

“Call me Okaasan, you’ll be staying a while, yes? Might as well get familiar.”

Viktor smiled. A real smile. A pair of familiar but dissimilar brown eyes were watching from a safe distance. Observing mostly.

“Oh! 'Hir-- Okaasan, do you happen to know if my bicycle arrived with my things yesterday?”

She looked around before tapping a finger on her nose.

“You should ask Mari, she would know.”

Viktor nodded, offering a quick ‘thank you’ before Hiroko made her way past him. As soon as she was far enough away, his expression dropped. His thoughts had returned to Yuuri. A groan escaped his lips as he ran his fingers roughly through his hair, messing up the usually well-kept style. Viktor drew in a breath, angrily fixing what he had just done.

“It’s outside in the shed.”

The sudden voice made Viktor jump, gaze immediately shooting to the tanned brunette standing against the dining room door frame. A pale hand hovered over his heart as he offered her a smile.

“Mari… you startled me! … oh.. Um… Thank you.”

The ever watchful gaze made Viktor feel uncomfortable as he headed for the door that led him out of the onsen. Once he was outside, he glanced around before spying a small shed near the edge of the building.

Viktor was adjusting his bicycle seat when he was greeted by one adorably plump Kobuta-chan, dressed in sweats, Makkachin at his side. When their gaze met, the Russian offered a sweet smile.

“Where is the ice rink?”

Yuuri looked past Viktor, adjusting his glasses slightly before he pointed to the Japanese castle on the small hill in the distance.

“The ice castle is right below that.”

If Yuuri hadn’t of been staring at the distracting silver locks as they danced in the breeze, he may have missed the small devilish smirk that crossed Viktor’s lips as he straddled the bright yellow bicycle.

“Good. Doesn’t seem too far! Off we go!”

An instant sense of dread washed over Yuuri’s face as the Russian pedaled away, a happy Makkachin bounding beside him.

“Come along Kobuta-chan!”

A whistle slipped through Viktor’s lips as he turned out of the onsen, barely catching sight of Yuuri as he started in a jog after him.

* * *

 

 

Viktor never needed a reason to be on the ice.

 

It was the place he felt most home at.

 

_Well._

 

A smile crossed his lips as he drifted, getting a feel for this new ice rink. If it had been up to his own mother, he was sure he would have been born on the ice. Viktor laughed inwardly at his own thoughts before he caught sight of a similar pair of turquoise-hued eyes again.

He blinked a few times and then they were gone.

It was nice meeting the caretakers of the rink and their three adorable little girls. He was surprised to find out that the Nishigori’s had been skating with Yuuri for so long. And that Yuko and Yuuri used to be rink mates as children. Viktor enjoyed the stories that Takeshi and Yuko told him, with a furiously blushing Yuuri in the background.

He could appreciate hometown ice rinks, the ice was well taken care of, loved even.

Viktor spun softly before gliding to a halt in the middle of the ice. His gaze wandered as he took in the structure, everything familiar from the video that pulled him here. His heart was racing as he glanced to the side, eyes falling on Yuuri for a brief moment. The Japanese skater was on the sidelines, stretching. He looked focused, determined, but disappointed at the same time. Viktor’s smile fell as he continued watching.

Viktor wished for nothing more in that moment than to know what was going through Yuuri’s mind.

It wasn’t until the Nishigori’s appeared that he was drawn away from the entrancing raven haired skater. His mind wasn’t focused enough yet to even try working on the Eros/Agape programs, so with a sigh, he skated into something familiar.

 

_Stay close to me._

 

It seemed fitting that the first thing he skates on this new ice is the very program that brought him here. The music echoed only in his mind, settling his thoughts. He knew there was some chatter on the sidelines, the gang talking about something. In time for his first jump, he was reminded of what happened at World’s.

It was the first time he really thought about it. Somewhere his thoughts were trying to connect dots.

After landing the quadruple lutz, he looked to the barrier. He spied Axel, Lutz, and Loop along with Yuko, star struck as they watched. He couldn’t help but laugh, Lutz with a camera, Axel with a camcorder and Loop with a phone, his face on the case. He wondered if they were the reason Yuuri’s video got uploaded.

 

If they were, he should take them out for ice cream.

 

Quadruple flip. He heard some commotion from the barrier but he couldn’t focus on them. Not when his mind was pulling him elsewhere. He kept picturing Yuuri on this ice, doing exactly was he was doing with such a finesse that he wanted to see. A beautiful thing that set his heart on fire. He wanted to see the Japanese skater on the ice again. He _craved_ more.

 

Unfortunately…

 

“The little piggy can’t enter the rink until he drops some body fat!”

He called out, watching Yuuri’s smile disappear as he extended a leg, gliding on the ice. Viktor could only imagine what was going through the poor boy’s mind.

At some point, while Viktor was on the ice, Yuuri has disappeared, along with the Nishigori’s, which left the Russian to himself on the ice. He resumed just drifting back and forth. It was strange, everything in the world was bright, but the colours were muted, unlike that morning where everything seemed, more saturated.

Viktor groaned loudly. He wished he had his music with him. At least then he could be productive. He wasn’t expecting Yuuri to run off, though.

‘You could always ask him…’

The voice in his head was not near as bizarre as the ocean coloured eyes in front of him. Viktor was used to having arguments with himself but was he really going to start putting a face to his antagonist within.

**“NO!”**

Viktor yelled, slamming his hands down on the rink barrier. His shifted his gaze around, thankful that he was still alone. Just as quickly as they appeared they were gone and Viktor exited the rink.

_“...I can’t…”_

He whispered as if to make up for his outburst a moment ago.

“I have to move slowly, or...”

 

He couldn’t help but laugh as he remembered last night and how close he got to Yuuri. So close. But then he ran, and it hurt.

 

But the platinum-haired Russian was a patient man.

And trust takes time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 things I loved about this chapter.
> 
> 1\. Mari.  
> 2\. The momma's, Katsuki and mention of Nikiforov <3  
> 3\. Viktor's younger self.


End file.
